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“I thought about that ready-made family thing, and ... I just don’t know. I guess I also want to get to know someone more thoroughly than I could if we have to work around babysitters. So, no, I haven’t dated anyone with kids yet, and I’m not sure how best to tackle it.” I paused, and had another awful thought, “I mean, what would I do if I really fell for a lady who’d already had her tubes tied, so I’d never father a child myself? That would be one heck of a difficult choice for me to make.”She was nodding her head slowly in agreement as I expounded my thoughts. “Yeah, I know instinctively that I want to be a mother to my own kids instead of a stepmother to someone else’s. Don’t want to look after a child all week and then he goes off to his real mom for the weekend, gets spoiled rotten, and I have to pick up the pieces every Monday. Like you, I hadn’t thought that one through until I was faced with the choice. Damn, what you just said, I hadn’t considered that either – what if I. The laptop whirred to life. I didn't realize I was biting my thumbnail until Eric smacked my hand away from my mouth. That made me even more fretful.He ran a full system scan while I sat against my headboard, knees to my chest, chewing my thumbnail. The scan found nothing. Eric was satisfied."Believe me—" He cut off my protestation. "--there is nothing on your computer. Nothing at all, C. End of story, damn it." And then he walked out.At 10 that night, I sat at my desk and opened the lid. I bit my lower lip and crossed my arms as the laptop awoke. The only thing running was Minesweeper, which I'd played that afternoon."Hello?"After a moment, a tentative Yes? appeared at the bottom. I said nothing, and he typed nothing. Time went by and I grew progressively more fidgety."You wanted to talk," I reminded him.Talk then."Eric says you're a figment of my imagination."Eric needs some imagination, he said."You don't exist."So he says."What are you?" I demanded.I don't know, exactly. I don't.
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